Saturday, April 30, 2016

Should our kids show anger? And for how long? Knowing this could save lives.

How long is a child allowed to outpour anger?

According to the clinical poineer of palliative care and emotional intelligence, Dr Kubler-Ross:
15 seconds...
15 seconds! 
That is a flip flop long ding dong time for any parent in the firing line.
But it is now recognised as on of the greatest failings of Western social conditioning to discipline our children to suppress emotion in favour of social convention. 
Teaching our children healthy outpouring of the natural emotions: fear, anger, grief, jealousy and love - is a sure fire why to raise a healthy, productive generation and short circuit our violence fuelled, emotionally crippled community.
If we don't teach out children that anger is an ok emotion and it is ok to display it - safely - then we get teens and adults who spontaneously rage. This translates to one punch killings, domestic violence and active shooter massacres.
  • Jealousy turns to possession.
  • Grief becomes depression.
  • Fear becomes obsession. 
(Did you like that? That is the result of a double shot coffee).

Could teaching our children to be angry change our poor domestic violence record?

We could, quite simply, change the world by teaching our children it is ok to be angry, and show them safe ways to discharge anger.
The buddhists uphold the same belief - to be childlike is to be god-like.
So the next time you encounter a moody person, or deal with a tantrum, or  find yourself simmering in an unexplained mood... let's ask ourselves how we provide safe havens for the children and people in our lives to outpour emotion (safely).  Do we afford ourselves the same safe, judgment free space to allow emotional recognition, and in turn, spiritual growth? Do we acknowledge our anger, or suppress it and push it down into a furness where the pressure is building and seeping out of structural weaknesses?

Anger is ok... rage is not.

#‎DVmonth‬ starts with teaching emotional intelligence.

No comments: