Saturday, May 2, 2015

I don't do meal plans.... But I can tell you what I eat so that I never have to worry about losing weight...

I believe everyone know what is good food and bad food, so that is why I have left the 'meal planning' race....

Food is like a romantic relationship - it is either healthy, boring or toxic. Sometimes we can't get enough of the toxic no matter how bad it is making us feel. It has to be our decision whether we leave it, keep going back for a quickie, or stay in the cycle of short term highs followed by guilt, regret and disgust.

I don't do meal plans, but I can tell you what my food day looks like.It is a little bit like a plastic surgeon doing rhinoplasty... over the phone... and you holding the scalpel - for me to do a meal plan for you.  I can't physical force food in your mouth, to train hard or to sleep properly.  I don't know how really bad your gut is because I haven't seen the state of your scat, or felt you bloat, indigestion or constipation.  I can't feel how your body feels, or physically inhabit your body to see if you are REALLY training as hard as you say you are.  One day, my son assures me, he will develop an 'app' and I will indeed be able to inhabit your body.  And it will be a game changer.  And cost you a lot of money.

But until then, here is what I can advise you to do.  It's nothing new.  I am just replacing most of my meat and diary with plant based alternatives these days.  It is my shout out to the environment, sentient beings and my gut health.  After all, I am too gutless to butcher myself, so why expect someone else to do the dirty work for me?

Here we go.  Upon rising:

Your should need to poo.  If you don't, your system is most likely inefficient.  You should do as many poos in a day (and equivalent volume) as main meals.

I then drink aloe gel in filtered water.

I eat oats* and chia seeds soaked and cooked in full cream milk*.  I add nuts, cranberries, coconut, fresh or home stewed fruit and add a dash of maple syrup.

*[Insert diary or grain substitutes here that make you feel good.]

BMC: Before Multiple Children...
I would whip something like this up - oats soaked in ricotta cheese, smash in an egg and fry like a pancake.  

I drink a cup of green tea or I drink a coffee with full cream milk.  As soon as possible, for everyone's sake.  As soon as I stop having babies/ toddlers/ children I will probably eradicate this from my diet.

I eat left overs from the previous night with some sort of oil rich homemade sauce  i.e.: hummus, aioli, Tunisian green sauce (coriander, chilli, onion,  garlic, olive oil wazzed up).  I have it with a good plateful of raw salad greens.  I usually also add full fat white cheese and/ or yoghurt.   If I am training that day I will eat it with sour dough, on a barley warp.  I also add saucraut for my gut, and if I have made kumbucha tea I have a little shot.  This meal is a huge as a huge main meal.

I drink more green tea.

I have usually had a least litre of water by this stage.

Afternoon tea (before class, I don't need the calories if I am not training my arse off):
I eat the vegetables I am cutting up for tea (preparing my gut with enzymes only raw veggies contain... If your gut isn't healthy this will make you bloated).  I sometimes eat a slice of sour dough with avo/ tomato heaps of butter and even homemade jam if I feel like my body is eating itself.  If you have never experienced the feeling of your body 'eating itself' then you have never truly experienced hunger.

When I don't have a child hanging off me, I might have a smoothie whizzled from fruit and veg reclaimed from the depths of the vegetable crisper, cleaned (sometimes soaked in apple cider vinegar)  and frozen,   and add a teaspoon or two of 'plant seed protein' and full fat greek yoghurt.

Dinner (which is also used for lunch tomorrow) is always with 4-8 different vegetables.  Almost always.  No exceptions.

I always add spinach and grated sweet potato to sauces, bolagnaise and curries for fibre and vitamins.

Portions are generally 80% vegetable, loads of fats and the remaining is protein and some seeds and wholegrain.  Not rocket science, otherwise we never would have evolved as a race.

WINTER suggestions:
Slow cooked meats and ribs.
I roast my vegetables in pork or beef fat.
Green vegetables fried in coconut amino acids.
Hot roasted whole sweet potato.
Baked eggs.

Crisp Skinned Fish with veggie bake and veggies fried with chirizo.

Vegetarian lasagna with steamed vege and baked sweat potato.

Egg bake using left over vege and three cheeses.

Meats and salad.
Lasagna with left over vege, spinach and ricotta.
BBQ'd Haloumi and vegetables.
Fish coated in pesto.
Roasts meats.

After dinner: a piece of seasonal fruit, sometimes.  If I have been a good girl at training in winter I eat a homemade baked pastry: whole fruit oven baked on a shard of shortcrust party with butter and maple syrup.  Like, probably, once or twice a fortnight.

Non-specific supplements: 2-3 relate magnesium; 1 zinc, 1 neem, 1 Ubiquinol (for over 40's).

Things I know make me fat (and uglier):
1.  Drinking alcohol.  Wine.  Beer.  Premixed Candidida Cocktails.
2.  Drinking soft drinks, milk drinks - in fact any liquid that isn't water or green tea.
3.  Eating sugar.
4.  Eating white flour.  I do it... but I usually make myself pay for it in the gym when I feel like spewing and have snot streaming out of my nose.
5.   Drinking more than one coffee a day.  In fact.  That is probably too much.
6.   Doing drugs.  Legal, prescription, illicit, or over the counter.  Anything that isn't saving your life is killing you.  If you see me taking Panadol you know that Arma-Erin-Gedden is coming.

I'm not into gimmicks, or short cuts.  In fact I have prophemi the doom of loads of things that are mainstream for the last 10 years.

I will never make people believe that they need me as an emotional crutch.  All learning is re-membering people.  You can do it....  remember.  Re-member.  What makes you feel good?  What makes you heal?

This great big Celestine world will give you every answer if you ask the right question.  I am just the start.

There is NO GREATER EXPERT THAN YOU....  So go to it.  Trust yourself.  I dare you...

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