Sunday, February 16, 2020

So I'm hanging out with the #metoo woodland lymph Daphne and we are getting our guts out - literally


I have started charting my menstrual cycle with Emgoddess.... hoorah for me!


And, goodbye gentlemen (for this who stay I promise it will be worth your while).

So the Ancient Greek woodland nymph Daphne and I have been swapping notes and she wanted me to tell you a story about her, and me, and well, all of you.  Because this fun loving huntress is an archetype that makes up all women and if you haven't sipped a pink gin cocktail and dashed naked through a forest chasing Bambi with her you then you have seriously missed out.

Daphne is the poster girl for the #metoo movement.  You see, she was being stalked by the pesky sexual predator Apollo so in desperation she cried out to her river God Dad to help.  In what I can only describe was a panicked parent response he turned her into a.... wait for it..... laurel tree.  But Daphne was down with that - cause as Apollo tried pashing her she just shoved a big mouth full of hardened bark into his desperate mouth.  #Bam #Bark #Boom

She was the sista that pegged the term 'virgin' in it's authentic sense.  Not the atrociously mis-translated 'untouched hymen-myth' drivel, but the more accurate Ancient Greek translation 'I do not need a man because I choose to be independent' sense.  This babe is the reason why the laurel wreath got chucked on a victorious Olympian's head, so loved is she... even if her defensive technique against unwanted masculine advances was to become a tree #haventweall.


So when I am hanging out with Daphne I like to wear flower earrings and a big pink skirt but I keep my footwear practical albeit sparkly in case of imminent butting kicking.

I haven't turned into a tree per say, but I resonate with Daphne's will to express herself without needing to gratify some dude.  I remember being a 22 year old girl out on a skating date with my new boyfriend.  I was newly inducted Police woman and you would think I was all baseball caps and jeans, but nah, I wore skirts and flowers in my hair - everywhere.  Even on said skate date.


I tried to sneak a couple of flowers in my hair at work, but the Patriarchy got a bit miffed about it.
My boyfriend said "You don't have to wear flowers in your hair all the time. You can save them for when we get married."

I giggled.  Neigh, I 'tittered."

In my head I was like "ohhhhh, he wants to marry me.... but oh, only if I stop wearing flowers in my hair."

Oh come on girl.  Crone me be like:

1.  Why you wanna go get your arse married anyway?
2.  Why dis fool think you wanna marry him?
3.  Why he be telling me when I can wear flowers in my hair?

And more importantly: girlfriend, why this mo-fo memory be etched into your psyche for 3 decades? Shheeetttt.

During the 4 phases of the Emgoddess feminine cycle you get a laurel wreath for guessing my 'flowers in my hair and frills everywhere' phase to the Daphne phase.

During Daphne I like get my guts out because I feel less bloated.   The first phase following the detox and release of menstruation during Hecate this is the optimum estro time for using those carbs efficiently and doing some super sweaty high intensity training to cash in on your upward energy swing.


It does not always look like this and my herniated bellybutton is a real public treat.  You're welcome.

I am more confident to try a new exercise in front of the class, and I don't really worry too much about what anybody thinks, at least I be moving dis ass.

For my Percy Jackson fans Daphne may also remind you of the hunting Goddess Artemis.  All fiery with her edgy bow and arrow and like 'boys, yuk - I'll shoot you, I'm hanging out with my girl gang."

Your Daphne phase is the perfect time for you to hits some bags and use your big voice to question some fey farce that ain't sittin right on your nymph spectrum....   Just like the #metoo Daphne who's God Dad turned her into a tree to escape the advances of the #notallmen God Apollo.  This is your time to set some hard and fast boundaries and shirk from unwanted gingivitis kisses by pushing out those branches and not apologising for this thick, resilient skin that you have so lovingly nurtured.

Go do it Lady!  You are nothing less then a Goddess.



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Hi, I am Erin.  I own the boxing MMA shed Sweat Depot that is best know for loud and sweaty MMA HIIT and HIRT classes.








I also teach RAVES self defence to schools, workplaces and families. Get excited!  I am currently developing an online fitness course with Emgoddess to compliment the four phases of your feminine cycle : Daphne, Demeter, Persephone and Hecate.  Persephone was my FAV cause I am a scorpio with a dark, cold conjurers imagination that also enjoys consensual hugs, fluffy, sparkly things and talking about psychopaths, aliens and bodily functions over the dinner table.  As I get older I have grabbed Hecate and begged her to embody me with her strength and wisdom and all knowing power.   She can help us change the world, and I am up for that!


Now that you know (probs a little too much) about me join the Emgoddess community to get onboard with your feminine fitness journey in the presence of Goddesses and Naiads no less!

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